Well, here we are for the last time!
To those who haven’t been following this series…
I am writing about what it’s like in the world of The Nashville Wife (myself) and what it was like coming here without my own purpose. Along with that came The Nashville Mom. I had to find myself within both titles and I wanted to share my experience. I spoke to many other lovely ladies who have been through the basics of my story but in their own versions.
That is what this series has been about. And now it is coming to an end. 😦
Their voices. Our voices. A community of people who share a common thread within our life story, willing to branch out and reach for the lonely or the broken.
These women are wonderful people who have volunteered their time to answer these questions and discuss their life with me. I am so grateful for their willingness to share and I hope this meets someone where they’re at in their story.
In case you have missed any, we started back on May 14th, 2018 with The Nashville Mom series. Here are all the blogs leading up to this one:
(1) – The Nashville Life through the eyes of The Nashville Wife
(2) – When the Nashville Wife becomes the Nashville Mom (Part I)
(3) – …The Nashville Mom (part II): a blog for Brave Women with Adult Issues
(4) – …The Nashville Mom (Part III): Dreams & Goals (embrace, prepare)
(5) – …The Nashville Mom (part IV): Advice for SAHMs in a New City
(6) – …The Nashville Mom (part V): Becoming a stronger version of yourself through community and connections with others.
We ended last week with Part V, talking about making connections and nurturing those connections; loving ourselves and in turn loving others. We talked about how to not feel isolated and alone…
I have been in Nashville now for 4 years this September. I still feel isolated and alone at times, especially being a SAHM. I have often wondered if this feeling will ever go away considering my personality type (aka I love to work and get out!) and I’m honestly not sure if it will.
I learned a while ago now that I had a decision to make: what made me happier? Staying at home with my son and no longer working or working (part-time or full-time) and seeing him half the time? There were obviously pros and cons and I decided to be a full-time SAHM. I chose the isolation. I chose to make that isolation as small as possible and, it seems, so have the rest of these women!
*side note: I am not saying anything regarding whether or not deciding to choose isolation verses working is right or wrong. There IS no right or wrong. Everyone has to decide for themselves and for their family what is best. 🙂
So how does one that chooses this way of life in Nashville (or ANY city really) go about making the isolation smaller?
Let’s see what these other Nashville Moms have to say about this. Let’s finish out the last of this series by creating a community and helping each other to grow out of our loneliness.
Beautiful words spoken by beautiful women. It’s time to hear their voices once again.
“What did you do to make Nashville feel like home?”
Here’s what they had to say:
“I loved Nashville from the beginning, so that wasn’t hard. I don’t know that I did anything super specific, other than just get out and enjoy the city- Cheekwood, the zoo, The Frist, whatever. Nashville has SO much to offer!
Bonus: One other thing, although you didn’t ask- get financial ducks in a row. Starting out a music career isn’t as financially stable as a lot of other jobs, and sometimes requires some financial investment. The last thing you need in a new town with a brand new career is money fights. Get your debt under control, have some savings in the bank, and talk OFTEN about your money, where it’s coming from, and where it’s going.”
– Martyne Palmer
“Still in the process. We are currently renting a hotel room until we find jobs and housing.”
– Heather Abbott Burback
“I’m not sure it’ll ever be “home” but it’s a good place for now. It’s inexpensive, quality of life is better because we have more disposable income. It’s cheaper here to pursue our dreams and save then move somewhere we really love then struggle somewhere else financially and never be fulfilled.”
– Allison Klein
“Again. Friends. They are my family now.”
My follow up question: Did you guys explore the city together? Find new places to hang out with each other? It’s so much easier with someone else, isn’t it? lol
“We have done quite a bit of exploring. We mostly go where other people recommend. We actually ended up moving to Mount Juliet because my husband tours with Charlie Daniels often. He’s pretty much the only person we knew before moving here so that’s why we chose this particular town. Charlie lives here, too. We love it here so much. We never imagined that Nashville would be where we settle down. But even if something happened and Scott stopped playing music for some reason, I’m pretty sure we would stay..”
– Vicki Mason Brown
“The primary thing that has helped me to not feel alone or isolated is joining the Nashville Moms Facebook Group. I have found one SAHM that lives in my area so we can schedule play dates. I would love more SAHM friends but with working and watching my little guy I am pretty complete having the one friend to call on days that we are home alone all day. We go to the Cornerstone indoor playground about once a week and occasionally on the weekends we find other activities.
I absolutely love Nashville! My husband is much happier here and is finally finding the musician connections he has always wanted. We feel like people in Nashville are much more understanding of the musician lifestyle and that it is treated more like a career and less like a hobby. Since my husband is much happier and I have found my own small place here we are truly happy. We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
In conclusion, it is definitely hard to get settled but its totally worth it. You have the same issues in any city with making friends and adjusting to being a couple with a child but if the ultimate goal is music you can find your place and make your own happiness!”
– Jamie Angsten
To those that are married or in a relationship, I feel like when either of you are getting to do something you love and like Jamie said, it’s taken seriously, that in and of itself creates community. Because there are so many others doing the same thing and wanting to always be around others who share their passion. You can actually find that connection, that lack of isolation, in the passion of your significant other. Basically what I’m trying to say is it doesn’t have to be in your circle that you find your isolation getting smaller. You can unite with those in someone else’s circle to find that connection, too.
Even better? You can find life and friendship and communion in BOTH circles.
To the ladies who helped me with this blog, it has been an HONOR sharing your thoughts. This has been a fantastic project for me and I really hope it’s reached others as well.
Thank you – Thank you – Thank you!
Photo Credit: Working Mother