Not long ago, I read about how asking the question “how are you?” is such an overwhelming question to ask. It asks the person far too much of them. Most people are not going to go into deep conversation about the true nature of how they are overall, as a person, going through life. So what is the automatic response?
Yeah. No, they’re probably not.
Without realizing it, we’ve given them a quick “out” to not have to tell you what’s going on inside but it also – sadly- reminds the person of what they’re probably struggling with and that they’re all alone. Because isn’t it far too difficult to explain how you really are, overall, in that short amount of time? And does the person asking really care to hear all about it?
So what I also read was so simple: just ask how they are today.
It gives them the freedom to answer honestly and with a much clearer idea of howthey can answer.
You still may here the “I’m fine!” response regardless, but thats okay. This works especially well when there’s been a death or a loss of any sort. Asking “how are you” is just simply too vague for them in this difficult time. Most likely, you’re going to set off a “how do you think I am?” response in their mind. But asking “how are you today?” or even changing it up to “How are you holding up today?” can make all the difference in the world.
Any thoughts? I would LOVE to hear them! Please comment below or shoot me a message!
It takes when we give. It gives away when we need. It doesn’t explain itself. It has no rules. It has no guide. It is violent. It is wrong.
God is just, my friends.
He gives abundantly what we do not deserve. He takes away and we may not understand. He holds our interests in his hand. He is devoted. He is one with mercy and judgment. He allows the hurt but He does not ignore it. It does not vanish, His love for us. No matter the hurt.
Life is unfair, the sin that is in it. The corrupt. The violence. The hate. The ignorance. The adulterated existence we are a part of. The blame we put on God, the one who risked more than we ever would be willing to do. He took the blame. He carried that weight, that burden of our emotional ignorance and pride. Yet He still loves us. Yet He is still here.
That is unfair.
That is just so incredibly unfair.
So today, I am thankful. For what I have and who I am despite the cruelty of this world I have endured my share of. I am thankful for a loving God who has shown me unimaginable, unbelievable unconditional love. I am thankful to those who – while they have endured even worse – have allowed themselves to be an encouragement to me and to others. I see you and wonder sometimes why? And where do you get the strength? And the answer is always the same.
God is just. God is one with mercy and judgement. He allows the hurt but He does not ignore it. It does not vanish, His love for us. No matter the hurt.
So today I am thankful. And tomorrow. And the next day.
Thank you, Lovelies. Please be kind, always. ❤
I had been warned – I had warned myself – not to reckon on worldly happiness. We were even promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, “Blessed are they that mourn,” and I accepted it. I’ve got nothing that I hadn’t bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not in imagination. Yes; but should it, for a sane man, make quite such a difference as this? No. And it wouldn’t for a man whose faith had been real faith and whose concern for other people’s sorrows had been real concern. The case is too plain. If my house has collapsed at one blow, that is because it was a house of cards. The faith which “took these things into account” was not faith but imagination. The taking them into account was not real sympathy. If I had really cared, as I thought I did, about the sorrows of the world, I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow came.
The more I have been blogging, the more I have ventured out of my house and sought the comfort of a cozy Nashville coffeehouse (and let’s be honest… it also allows me to be with other humans beside my 2-year-old and fur babies)
I have many that I like but here are my top 5 favorites!
When We Found Home tells the tale of a family who was split apart before they ever knew one another existed. The story begins with Malcolm meeting Delaney where she works, having carefree fun flirting and is suddenly thrust into her world when something happens to Keira, his half sister. To understand the book better, here are the main characters:
Malcolm, a good-looking executive with a past that would wipe you off your feet. A calm, caring man with a big heart and an empty brain when it comes to raising 12-year-old Keira, his half sister. You’ll be in love with him from start to finish.
Keira, a sassy little lass. Way too street-smart and far too scarred from the loneliness and heartache she’s had to endure. She’s a tough one and she helps round out her half-brother’s very distrusting opinions of the newest half-sister, Callie.
As Malcolm put it, “you’re all attitude and no backbone.” Callie is a fiery one, she is. She’s strong and witty but don’t be fooled by her very thin armor. She’s terrified. A convicted felon made heiress to an empire overnight.
Then we have Delaney. Oh my dear smart, beautiful, ambitious, frustrating girl.
Up eight. Up another four. The door on the right.
That’s what she called it.
Where the games were evil, and there was only ever one winner.
When it wasn’t my turn, she made me watch.
A peephole in the wall.
Asked me afterwards. What did you see, Annie?
What did you see?
••••••••••••••••••••• Continue reading Book Review: Good Me, Bad Me (Ali Land)
Recently I was talking to a friend about routines with children. I realized that I wasn’t fully informed on the subject to be able to efficiently and respectfully share my opinions and what I’ve read on the matter in a way that was as helpful as I had intended it to be. This ended up making me sound pushy and I absolutely hate that. Mother-to-mother, we should never judge one another, right? 😉 I never want another mom to feel judged because there is no “one way” of raising a child.
A twist you don’t expect.
A heartbreak you cannot fathom.
A child who inspires the inspirational.
Maya, the daughter of a hockey club that finds out the world is not what she thought it was. Ana, best friend to Maya, living in a world, always knowing it’s truths. A broken father, a run-off mother and a bunch of hunting dogs that let her be Ana when no one else will.
(yeah, I was totally boy crazy..this is no secret. It was embarrassing.)
It was in Horn Creek, Colorado when it happened
(…no, not when I first liked the boy… well I mean I guess that’s always possible. But no, no… when I got lost. On a mountain.)
So it was our day to climb the mountain, Horn Peak. My dad + me along with a good sized group of our dearest church family friends. I was pumped. I loved hiking but a mountain?! How cool is that! You even get a certificate at the end which was also cool. I was such a dweeb and I loved myself for it.