Not long ago, I read about how asking the question “how are you?” is such an overwhelming question to ask. It asks the person far too much of them. Most people are not going to go into deep conversation about the true nature of how they are overall, as a person, going through life. So what is the automatic response?
Yeah. No, they’re probably not.
Without realizing it, we’ve given them a quick “out” to not have to tell you what’s going on inside but it also – sadly- reminds the person of what they’re probably struggling with and that they’re all alone. Because isn’t it far too difficult to explain how you really are, overall, in that short amount of time? And does the person asking really care to hear all about it?
So what I also read was so simple: just ask how they are today.
It gives them the freedom to answer honestly and with a much clearer idea of howthey can answer.
You still may here the “I’m fine!” response regardless, but thats okay. This works especially well when there’s been a death or a loss of any sort. Asking “how are you” is just simply too vague for them in this difficult time. Most likely, you’re going to set off a “how do you think I am?” response in their mind. But asking “how are you today?” or even changing it up to “How are you holding up today?” can make all the difference in the world.
Any thoughts? I would LOVE to hear them! Please comment below or shoot me a message!
While most older dogs (small ones especially) seem to get a bad rep – you know, being cranky and all – these two are simply too chill for that. I mean, except for the occasional bird daring to invade their yard, these two are quiet and wonderful companions. They keep their barking to a minimal and the snuggles they give? You. cannot. imagine.
“– and we are ready, willing, and more than able to binge with you on that latest Netflix series (especially if you have bones for snacking on and a blanket for us to burrow in). We also happen to believe that two is better than one, and since you have two hands, well… this whole petting thing is gonna work out just fine.”
– Agape Animal Rescue
So let’s meet our furry little companions, shall we?
Well, hey there!
I’m Shelby! I’m super sweet. I’m the little sister that is easy going and certainly not shy like my big sister. I love my cuddles with Amber but I also love binge watching Netflix with my human. Preferably with my sister on the other side of your lap of course. I just like to know she’s there.
I think my face says it all in this picture, actually. I’m just waiting to show someone how much fun I am and that I’m such a happy girl. I’d love to live out my days with my best sister and my best human. Would you like that, too?
Oh hey! Here’s my sister!
Hello. How are you?
Hi there. My name is Amber like my sister Shelby told you. She’s a fun one, that girl. I am too but I’m a bit more shy than her. I think we make a great duo, you know? A yin and yang thing. I’m a little bit older than Shelby, a good 3 years if I’m not mistaken. (I don’t always get these human years of yours)
Now, a little surprise about me. I’m shy and all that, but just watch me when I get really happy. My Agape humans tell me that I burst with playfulness (especially with my favorite toys) and that it’s the funniest thing you’ll see! So I guess I’ll take their word for it! You’ll just have to come see it for yourself.
Well, thanks for meeting us! We hope you get the chance to talk to our Agape humans to see about taking us home. We love you already!
Aren’t these two adorable?!
For a little more info on the pups, visit them HERE.
If you’d like to fill out the adoption form, click HERE
It takes when we give. It gives away when we need. It doesn’t explain itself. It has no rules. It has no guide. It is violent. It is wrong.
God is just, my friends.
He gives abundantly what we do not deserve. He takes away and we may not understand. He holds our interests in his hand. He is devoted. He is one with mercy and judgment. He allows the hurt but He does not ignore it. It does not vanish, His love for us. No matter the hurt.
Life is unfair, the sin that is in it. The corrupt. The violence. The hate. The ignorance. The adulterated existence we are a part of. The blame we put on God, the one who risked more than we ever would be willing to do. He took the blame. He carried that weight, that burden of our emotional ignorance and pride. Yet He still loves us. Yet He is still here.
That is unfair.
That is just so incredibly unfair.
So today, I am thankful. For what I have and who I am despite the cruelty of this world I have endured my share of. I am thankful for a loving God who has shown me unimaginable, unbelievable unconditional love. I am thankful to those who – while they have endured even worse – have allowed themselves to be an encouragement to me and to others. I see you and wonder sometimes why? And where do you get the strength? And the answer is always the same.
God is just. God is one with mercy and judgement. He allows the hurt but He does not ignore it. It does not vanish, His love for us. No matter the hurt.
So today I am thankful. And tomorrow. And the next day.
Thank you, Lovelies. Please be kind, always. ❤
I had been warned – I had warned myself – not to reckon on worldly happiness. We were even promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, “Blessed are they that mourn,” and I accepted it. I’ve got nothing that I hadn’t bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not in imagination. Yes; but should it, for a sane man, make quite such a difference as this? No. And it wouldn’t for a man whose faith had been real faith and whose concern for other people’s sorrows had been real concern. The case is too plain. If my house has collapsed at one blow, that is because it was a house of cards. The faith which “took these things into account” was not faith but imagination. The taking them into account was not real sympathy. If I had really cared, as I thought I did, about the sorrows of the world, I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow came.
The Nashville Wife has been around for ONE FULL YEAR as of yesterday, February 28th, 2019.
O N E + Y E A R
It’s been an interesting journey to say the least. I’m glad I started it and I am going to continue! I’m going to try to get better about posting!
My goals for year #2?
+ Consistency + Clearer direction + Better updates about life events, less flakiness + Read more blogs of others
THANK YOU to those who have stuck with me from the beginning, to those who read my posts or – heck – even just like it. I have some that actually click “like” on pretty much every single post and I truly appreciate that so much. These people in particular have truly been so kind. Please check out their blogs:
I talk to myself. All my multiple sides of myself, we have a little chat.
The 5-year old me. The 20-year old me. The present-day me.
As I sit here in my counseling session, I tell my counselor how crazy I sound…
“Aren’t we supposed to come here and get a little less crazy, not a little more?”
My counselor just chuckles to herself, assuring me I am not, indeed, crazy. I know this, of course. It’s just, you feel a bit… hesitant. When you start bringing up issues of the past, the parts of you that were there at the time, they have something to say. It’s really you. There’s no extra personality in there, per se.
But let me tell you… it’s a weird experience when you sense that part of you communicating to yourself through feelings – emotions – telling you something that happened that you consciously were not aware of.
I’m currently reading The Silent Patient and parts of this book resonates so closely (minus the murderer part). A patient has a psychotic break down, supposedly kills her husband and shuts down. She never speaks another word again. She meets with a new psychotherapist who is determined to help her talk. At their second session, she attacks him. Some don’t believe she is able to be saved with the lack of words but are words really the only way we communicate?
“You call that communication?”
“Yes, I do. Rage is a powerful communication. The other patients – the zombies who just sit there, vacant, empty – they’ve given up. Alicia hasn’t. Her attack tells us something she can’t articulate directly – about her pain, her desperation, her anguish. She was telling me not to give up on her. Not yet.”
That voiceless communication could be anything. Anxiety. Fear. Rage. They aren’t just some crazy out-of-control emotion that needs to be tucked away. This is an unconscious part of you saying:
L I S T EN – T O – M E !!!
I’ve come to accept that if you do not give in to the experience of hearing your silent self no matter how crazy you might feel, you will not truly have the healing experience you seek.
That person you were? That person has something to say. You owe it to yourself to listen. At the time, who you were didn’t have the tools to communicate what was necessary. The Silent Patient. That’s who you were. But not anymore.
Hey there, hot stuff. Denzel, here – and I’m here to tell you, when it comes to eligible dreamboats, Ryan Gosling has got nothin’ on me.
– Agape Animal Rescue
Everyone, please meet Denzel!
This sweet, SWEET boy is Super Uno‘s brother (remember him?). Well they’re still hanging around and waiting for their furrrever homes!
Denzel here is much like his brother. He’s a charmer, he’s great with kids and he’s great with cats, too! Such a good boy 😉
I’m a 10 year old, 42-pound hunk of potty-trained lovin! I won’t drink out of the toilet, either!
(sorry, ladies, but I don’t think I can do that, either ^^^)
I’m a pug/hound mix that might be small but I have a mighty big heart (just ask my friend Logan Ryan. He came for a visit – it was fun!)
Well, I think I better go now. My brother, Super Uno, is really wanting some snuggles (oh if I could go home with him that would be so awesome. Anyone up for taking on the two of us old dudes? We’ll be good I PROMISE!!!)
I will leave you with this: if you don’t already have a dog, or maybe don’t remember what it’s like… well, this pretty much sums it up:
+ + +
If you’re unable to adopt at this time, P L E A S E consider these few options:
+ DONATIONS: Just click HERE and it will lead you to Agape’s donation page.
+ CONTACT: If you would like to e-mail a member of staff with anyquestions, click HERE.
+ VOLUNTEER: They could ALWAYS use a volunteer and pups like Super Uno and Cassie who don’t get a lot of attention would really enjoy some extra company. Click HERE for the application!
There may be the feeling of isolation, of a vastness far greater than one could comprehend. Logically we know we aren’t alone in this, but what does logic know about the workings of the heart?
– The Nashville Wife
I believe in the world as it is, this can apply to so many.
+ The stay-at-home-mom + The single mom + The musician that can’t seem to catch a break + The man and woman who broke up and he can’t do this again + The student who lost his way and can’t find a worthy path. + The woman whose disability creates a vast open space of nothing. + The artist who has it all but nothing at all + The man who has everything but feels empty + The author who writes for no one.
You may not be that author, that mom, the student or the woman. But when have you ever not felt isolated? Empty. Lonely. Unworthy. Ignored. Lost. Inadequate. We are not alone in this. We all have our own burdens to carry but we are not alone in the journey. Whatever the journey, we are not alone.
Logically, we know that. But what does logic know?